Not-So Social Media, Take Two: On Sextual Healing

[Disclaimer: This post is intended for those over the age of eighteen, due to its frank and sexual content and nature. While the thoughts expressed do represent the views of Speed on the Beat, viewer discretion is still advised. Also, for those under eighteen that are reading this, I have a few things I want to say. I won’t scold you for reading this, but I just want you to enjoy being a kid. Don’t be in a rush to bone and/or grow up. Also, having sex doesn’t make you a grown-up. There are plenty of “grown-ass kids” out here having sex and being reckless. Being responsible for yourself and your actions? That’s grown-up. Finally, if someone tries to pressure you into a sexual situation, peace out and leave them be because they’re not respectful of your wishes/desires. And that, my friends, is some ish I don’t like.]

Greetings, all.

It’s your friendly neighborhood rapper-slash-pop-culture-pundit Speed on the Beat back with a new “NSSM” entry. If you remember the last volume, we discussed meeting friends, dating people from online and its potential fails, and apparently “sexy selfies.”

What we failed to get into, surprisingly, was sexting. Now, sexting is as old as the internet (and before that, there was straight up phone sex). I’m sure that most of you have at least “cybered” with someone in your lifetime, either through Skype, Kik, or AOL Instant Messenger. If you say “no,” you’re lying and kittens everywhere are crying tears of sadness over your failure to tell the truth. And for that, I dislike you.

But memes and thirst traps aside, sexting has always been around–well, around as long as there has been technology to do so. So, with that said, I spoke with a few people (read: my son’s mom and a couple of my friends) and asked them what they thought about sexting and its implications in the world. An overwhelming response to that question was “why do [guys] always have to send their junk?” 
Personally, I try not to send crotch shots to women, as no one really wants a schlong in their text messages. Plus, if that person gets mad at you for something–whether it’s your doing or her’s–you run the risk of having your penis, face–or penis face–blasted all over the internet. The same rules apply to women, because some guys are, well, penis faces. Do I like sexting with people? I’ve done it, it’s not bad. However, I’m sure my penis is floating around out there in cyberspace–but not to a (ahem) Weiner level of floating. I’m also pretty sure that a young woman who I told not to contact me after we stopped talking set up a M4M Craigslist ad to get back at me for saying I didn’t wish to continue our “relationship” (as this was before “catfishing” became a widespread, MTV-worthy thing).
I also prefer actually being intimate versus talking about being intimate. But sometimes, you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do; everyone has their kinks. When it becomes problematic is that, when sexting, you’re pretty much putting every ounce of reputation you have on the line and putting all your faith in the idea that the other person won’t completely go ape and turn you into a meme or something. 
That’s why I tend to not sent “dick pics” to people, unless I’ve really grown to trust them–or know that neither one of us has intentions to screw the other one over. I once sent my son’s mom a DP while we were just starting to date. It was as a response to her sending a shot of her in a bra with the question “does this [bra] look too small?” I was 19 at the time, and I thought it’d be kind of tongue-in-cheek and flirty to send a DP. 
She sent back “why’d you send me this” and I had to CMA quick, fast, and in a hurry. Thankfully, she just thought it was kind of dorky (the fact I sent the picture, not the picture itself), or else I probably wouldn’t have my son. Men, we sometimes jump the gun. Hence the abundance of DPs that get sent out to women. It’s part of us trying to have our egos stroked, part of us trying to…well, you know. We feel “hey, if she sees this, she’ll definitely want to sleep with me/get to know me because she wants to sleep with me,” when we’re really saying “hey, all I want is to put one thing inside another thing and leave it at that.” Even if we’re crushing heavily on the girl and she knows, that’s the vibe that a DP can give off–unless asked for and it’s that type of conversation.
So, for the TL;DR’s out there: sexting can be fun, but don’t overdo it as it can have many, many, many repercussions–including creating a national scandal. I did not cover underage sexting because I spoke on over-sexualizing the youths in another post. Plus, that ish is just…nasty. Sure, we’ve probably all done it to a degree, but as an adult, it’s scary and gross to think about IMHO.
Speed on the Beat

Whatever you need to know about me, you can find out on Dad of two, cat dad (of two), mental health advocate, Team Support Dope Music in All Its Forms.

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