PA Vol. 56: War Never Changes

Welcome back to another episode of PA. Last time, we talked deep into Drizzle’s mindspace for some introspection. Today, we’re talking nukes and why this shit is insanity personified.

Drizzle: So Trump is a swear word now. You know why?

Speed: Because he threatened to kill us all via nuclear war? Because he seemingly felt icky denouncing the terrorism in Charlottesville? Or because “Trump” just sounds like someone taking a shit?

Drizzle: No, no, no, no, no…

It’s because in North Korea, saying his name in a positive light is probably a death sentence. So, I know we have Charlottesville and racism at home to think about. However, North Korea versus the Living Spraytan shows us one thing. Negotiation works so much better than just swinging your dick around. Look at Obama.

Speed: He wasn’t perfect, but–

Drizzle: But, he negotiated the release of prisoners. He didn’t have nuclear war options on his hands, not publicly like this. He actually talked to people. The Wishful Fuhrer, on the other hand, he comes in and starts talking shit. Next thing you know, prisoners are dying, powerful children are pointing nukes at each other and “watching” what the other one’s doing. It’s a shitshow.

Speed: Well, they need to get their shit together.

Drizzle: But–pregnant pause–I think that, with this, The Annoying Orange is justified right now.

Speed: I am shocked, appalled, and–well, let’s just see where this is going.

Drizzle: Honestly, I think he’s kind of a pussy for not responding sooner.

Speed: This is Trump we’re talking about; he barely responds to at-home issues in a timely manner.

Drizzle: Damn the nuke tests, the dick measuring–all of that. The second an American kid was returned from NK custody in a coma, and then died shortly thereafter, a line was crossed. Fuck everything else. They pretty much killed an American citizen. And for what? Without just cause, this is an act of aggression from a government. Sanctions should’ve been dropped down right then and there.

But, all we got was more chest-pumping. So, now we’re here.

Speed: I agree with you. Gasp. Oh no! But, NK overstepped. Now, am I saying “oh shit, let’s break out the nukes and murderize an entire country?” Fuck, no. But, something should’ve been done sooner–just like the Marine situation and the incidents in Charlottesville. But, shhh…let me be quiet.

Drizzle: No, war is not a good answer. But, the truth is this–you punch my homie with a truck, I’m shooting. I ain’t say eye for an eye. If my nigga is under the Mafia’s protection and you jump him, then my mafia’s gotta get involved. Or else, you know, why have one at all? The entire point of the government is to “do for the people what they cannot do for themselves.” That includes protection.

The Shining Finger Person government couldn’t protect that kid and showed NK that they wouldn’t. That’s a fail on two fronts. His Royal Barackness would’ve never let that shit happen, though. I hope Trump was quiet about this because cooler heads prevailed and no one said “hey, let’s go to war.”

But, I know that, in my heart of hearts, he probably pulled a “I don’t negotiate with assholes” card and the kid paid the price and he couldn’t back his shit. Now, after escalation after escalation, here we sit–with racism all around on top of this–waiting for bombs to drop. Trump, you glowing turd, you forever fail diplomacy.

Now, I wish that people stop saying “oh that ain’t never gonna happen; it won’t get to nukes.” I want to point out that this permanent glowface has done everything we said he couldn’t/wouldn’t do so far.

“He won’t be president.” Where’s he at now?

“Oh, he won’t do a Muslim ban.” He tried.

“He won’t build a wall.” He’s working on it.

“He’ll denounce the alt-right.” Look at his expressions.

“He won’t try and repeal Obamacare.” Oh, he’s pissed that he ain’t do it yet.

Speed: Pretty fucking much. I’d like to think that the Human Tropicana wouldn’t let it get to nukes. But, this is the Sunny D man we’re talking about.

Drizzle: The only reason he hasn’t achieve what he said he achieved isn’t because he came to his senses. No. It’s because we collectively put our foots down, as a country, and said “no.” I said he’s not the Antichrist, but he is in the chair and he is dumb as pain and he is about doing all the bad shit he said he’d do. It’s time for the “that won’t happen” crowd to wake the fuck up.

Now, don’t be scared. He’s shown us that emotions can be bad. There’s no real logical solution to this, though. It sucks, a lot. I don’t know what the solution is. But, it’s not sitting around with our thumbs in our asses and sucking our own dicks and being all surprised when the shit is introduced to the fan over drinks and friends.

By drinks and friends, I mean “fire and fury.” And by shit and fan, I mean that war…war never changes.