PA Vol. 60: The Great White Lie

There will be no memes or a bunch of fancy pictures in this one. This is a dense PA and, because of this, we’d rather not pollute the density and deepness with giggles. This is one that’s meant to piss you off and make you want to take action. So, without further ado, here’s volume 60 (damn, we’ve been at this a while) of Profound Assholes with Speed on the Beat and Drizzle Sez.

Bringing the “logo” back for this one…

Drizzle: I honestly think that White people believe minorities, but especially Black people, have their place. I believe that White people subconsciously believe that all non-White people have a place and that place is to not annoy White people. And we should all be happy that the White man allowed us in this place.

There’s this ongoing thing where White people are mad because the things they used to escape to are no longer escapes. But, they’re not escapes anymore because for the Minoriteam, there is no real “escape.”

Speed: Regardless of what we do, there’s still a wall. Trump didn’t build it though, so don’t let him take credit for another bullshit idea. It’s been here since we arrived here–either by choice or force. Some folks just don’t understand that.

I think there are exceptions to the rule. There always are. But, a good portion of White folks, I think they’re like “as long as the Blacks and Browns and them are keeping away from our routine, who gives a shit?” That’s the way that bad shit keeps happening too because some White folks don’t give a shit unless it’s happening directly to them.

Drizzle: So, the lie comes from the contradition. They subconsciously take credit for our successes but blame us for their failures. The lie is further enforced by the belief that they aren’t really immigrants, that they’re “settlers.” I saw a meme the other day. It said something along the lines of this. “What immigrants see when they get here is a DHS building. What my [a White person] sees is a picture of wilderness.”

I’m just like, “they really believe that?”

Like, White people forgot there was a Native American civiliation here. There’d be no White people here if the Native Americans didn’t help them survive. It’s like people tink of Native Americans and they think they all lives in tents somewhere. But, there were legit Native American cities. One was bigger than fucking London! They were put together that some of them still stand.

Speed: Cahokia Mounds, for instance?

Drizzle: At its prime, it was larger than London.

Speed: But the point is that Native Americans weren’t just living in tepees saying “how my neighbor” and shit like the movies have portrayed. While it’s gotten better, Hollywood still has a ways to go before there’s a completely accurate representation of Native American life. They were smart, ingenious, and all those other things. They were here long before America was “discovered.” And, for the last fucking time, Columbus didn’t discover America. Stop disseminating that myth.

Drizzle: That’s not the point, though. The point is White people ain’t settle shit. Their entire reason for to keep coming–other than Puritans and a topographical error–was because they heard a rumor that there was a city of gold. Hell, Mexico City was built by Europeans from the ruins of the CAPITAL CITY of the Aztecs. But, now? White people have this image of them coming to this “raw and untouched” land and forging a country from it. That’s not even close to the truth. Hell, Columbus’ own drawings showed sprawling cities in the background.

White people keep lying to themselves. The lies are to justify their bullshit. The fun part is that most of the people that are pulling this shit? They’re not even part of the first wave of White immigrants! Donald Trump is from German immigrant heritage. Ann Coulter, who started this whole “we are settlers” bullshit, has all eight of her great-grandparents’ names in the Ellis Island ledger as immigrating from Ireland and Germany.

Speed: But White Lies Matter, Drizzle.

“Donald Drum” does fit him though. He just beats his chest about stupid shit.

Drizzle: They lie to be superior, too. The lie that we’re different somehow makes them able to be superior. The only difference is that we’ve got bigger dicks and more star power–melanin and shit–than they do. I do sometimes think that White people are aliens. Let me break out my conspiracy theory hat. There aren’t any real indigenous tribes of White people, including Vikings and shit. There are no instances of White people surviving without infrastructure that removes equilibrium with nature. No other race can say that. White people hit the ground fucking shit up. Literal written White history just starts with them using floors and tables. To do that shit, you’ve got to fuck nature up.

But, that’s just a conspiracy.

I have no proof. And unlike the folk who believe fake news–actual BS articles, not shit the modern racist dislikes–I know that when I’m devoid of proof, it’s just a theory.

But, Donald Trump is a genius for capitalizing on these lies. For instance, the whole take a knee thing. He changed the narrative in one session. He fucked up all the protests in one session. He changed the perception of NFL’s reported drop in ratings. Before, it was obviously because of the Kaep protest. He made it look like the drop in ratings looked like angry White people. So, now all the people protesting Kaep are fueling the argument that people are mad because of the protest. He earns a “mwahahaha” for that.

Speed: Are you sure that it’s just superiority and shit, though?

Drizzle: It could be innocence. I did say superiority. But I was thinking “what is the lie that they tell?” The lie is that “White people are innocent.”

Speed: And therefore superior?

Drizzle: Not even. There’s no real explanation that works for the insane amount of hurt they’ve done. So, they pretend to be innocent. Everything they did was justified. Nothing is their fault. Everything everyone else does is the reason they suck.

Speed: I agree with you. However, it’s not just passing guilt away from themselves. “Bad White People,” because there is a difference, use the lie of passing guilt and shit to get through life. It’s kinda the basis of “White Privilege,” if you think about it. We need more minorities and “Good White People” to step up and say “fuck that noise.” Otherwise, there’s going to continue to be a dismissal of guilt and blame will be shifted from where it belongs to where it’s most convenient. We’re all guilty of this at some point or another. But “Bad White Folks” revel in that shit. Like, they fucking bathe in it.

Drizzle: Nah. It’s not passing guilt. It’s that “White people are innocent people.”

Speed: That is passing guilt, though. Rather, it’s them not accepting it.

Drizzle: Nope. There’s no guilt to pass. The lie is that White people are innocent. Period. That’s why they can rape people and get five months. It’s why they can get caught with weed and get just a warning. It’s why they kill more per capita and no one believes it. There’s no guilt to pass. There’s only the lie. This White person, no matter their crimes, the people they hurt, their ancestors’ crimes. They’re innocent because they are White.

Speed: Look at the police who’ve willingly killed people and have gotten off the hook. Most were either White or “accepted” by White people like with the Freddie Gray incident. But, it goes deeper. Some White folks will rather send a POC to jail for life than to say “hey White guy. You’re the real guilty party.”

Hell, look at the Vegas shooter not being labeled a “terrorist.” That’s after he did some terrorist-ass shit. Now, I know, I know. “Speed, that’s too soon.” But fuck it. That motherfucking piece of trash is a terrorist–even if some of these White people and people in power won’t say he’s one. He’s a terrorist just the same as Osama.

Out of respect for the victims, we will not show that fucker’s face.

Drizzle: Oh, yeah. He’s a terrorist. He’s a part of that radical rich White terrorism. But, because of that “White” part? You get people saying “oh, this was unexpected. We never saw that coming.” Why? Because…he’s…innocent.

So, in something this horrific, there is guilt passing to the hotels! White people go on a killing spree and we have tighter hotel security.

Speed: So, the lie is that White people can’t perpetrate any sort of fuckery because some of them view the entire “race” as perfect and innocent. That’s Hitler-ass levels of eugenic bullshit.

Drizzle: A White guy just killed over 50 people and injured roughly 500 others. But people are blaming the hotels–

Speed: Not the asshole who did it.

Drizzle: Yep. And if they do, they’ll try to make him an outlier. “Oh, he was mentally disturbed. All the other White people are perfectly innocent.”

Speed: Which, to their credit, he probably was mentally unstable. He’d have to be.

Drizzle: Let me be clear. You start shooting into a crowd at random people, you’ve got mental problems.

Speed: But, that doesn’t automatically erase all the other fuck shit other White people have done over the years who weren’t mentally disturbed.

Drizzle: The lie is that White people are innocent so since mass shootings are a White male issue, it won’t be treated as one. That’s even though a whopping 94% of mass shootings are White dudes. Look at Aurora, Sandy Hook, et cetera.

Now, if the shooter was ambiguously brown, the Whites would say “immigration is the issue.” If he was Black? “We need to get these inner cities–code for Black people–under control.” Remember, Trump said something along these lines. Now, if the shooter was Muslim? Well, a few days after San Bernadino, the Annoying Orange proposed a ban on Muslims.

But Paddock was White. So, he’s an outlier. All the other White people should be seen as innocent. In terms of violence, all minorities need to accept responsibility for a few. If one person breaks, then the whole race is broken. However, White people can say that the few were the “broken” ones.

White people shouldn’t feel guilty. They’re innocent. White people shouldn’t feel guilty for slavery or Jim Crow. The ones alive now didn’t own slaves or make those laws. They shouldn’t feel guilty for creating ghettos. The ones alive now didn’t put them there. White people shouldn’t feel guilty for the lack of workplace diversity. Minorities just need to work harder. White people shouldn’t feel guilty. It’s not their fault, it’s everyone else’s.

These are all lies.

Speed: I pray you’re not expecting me to disagree with your logic. White people have done some fucked-up shit to minorities and elsewhere over the years. They should take responsibility for it instead of trying to explain it away with shit like “it wasn’t me” or my personal favorite “just get over it. That was years ago. Racism doesn’t exist anymore. You got Barack.”

The fact that some of these White people perpetrate this shit and allow it to happen is just as bad as the ones who started it in the first place. Sometimes, it’s worse. Why? Because the people around now know better than to believe that shit.

They know better than to believe that, for instance, the Black man’s brain is smaller than the White man’s brain or that Black dick is a mystical thing that should be revered and castrated for its aphrodisiac properties or whatever fucked up shit people did back then. The old-timey fucks had a lot of ass-backwards ways of thought. Motherfuckers now know better than to believe in that shit, even if they willingly do it. That makes it worse in some ways.

Drizzle: Now, here’s some more real shit. Black people are owed. National Geographic said that, after inflation, slavery generated $380 BILLION–with a “B”–dollars in revenue for the United States. They also have had pieces that showcase that the backbones of the U.S. economy, even today, have roots within slavery. Now, there were a minority of slaves that were paid. For instance, Olaudah Equiano. So, we’ll round that 380 down to about $300 billion. That’s $300 billion dollars that Black folk never saw a red cent of.

So, we couldn’t build with it. We couldn’t waste it. We couldn’t educate with it. It was, essentially, stolen from us. An estimated 40 million people in the U.S. are descendants of slaves. Calculating that? You, me, your kids, all of us. We should be getting a check for about $7,500 bones from the good ol’ USA. But, why should the Whites pay us? They’re innocent. Here’s how backwards it is.

You and me have to pay for their ancestors’ mistakes by not getting and having what were owed. But, they don’t have to pay for those same mistakes.

Speed: Instead, some straight up flourish because of them. That’s all while we suffer from the residual effects.

Drizzle: Bruh, I could go on about this for years. So, let’s just end it here before I hurt some more brains.

Speed: I concur with you. And thank you readers for staying with us through 60 volumes of PA. 

Speed on the Beat

Whatever you need to know about me, you can find out on

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s