Dear Internet Rappers: A Request (Or "Don’t Hate the Blogger.")

Dear Internet Rappers,

This may be one of the hardest things I’ve had to do to you all in a while, but it must be done. As much as I’m about everyone getting as much shine as possible, the music reviewer/critic in me is tired. He is tired of seeing artists beg for spots on blogs, then getting upset when the bloggers choose to not feature them. He is tired of getting a million requests from other artists to check out their music that sounds even worse than mine. He is getting tired of the few of you spoil it for every other internet-savvy artist. And, finally, he is dead effin’ tired of dealing with sheer fuckery.

To begin, as noted, I used to primarily be a music blogger in the DMV area. Think DDotOmen, GovernmentNames, and PatIsDope on a smaller scale, even though I reviewed projects from both DDot and PID at some point. Through this venture, I got a chance to interact with a plethora of artists and learned how they worked–and what not to do from an artistic standpoint. To the humble artists, I salute you. But, to those that chose to push inferior work and call it a masterpiece, I shake my head at you. I mean, how in the hell are you going to say “yo, this is better than Drake” when it barely even stays on beat? How do you have the balls to call people out when you yourself still record in your girlfriend’s closet? How can you say that you’re a God among men, but no one outside your three-man-circle has heard of you?! I’m the biggest proponent of the philosophy of an artist being their biggest advocate. But, for the love of all that is holy, do not oversell yourself. If you lack lyrics, don’t say “my lyrics are the GOAT!” If your sound quality is muddled for no real reason (Ed. note: I have one), don’t say “yo, my production is so crisp, it shits on these industry niggas.” If Noz, Kevin Nottingham, or any of the bigger names won’t flat out call you out on it, I WILL. Why? Because someone needs to put digital and verbal hands on your Superman complex before you ruin your non-existent career even more so than you already have by being a cocky asshole.

I can’t even begin to count the times artists have asked me to check out their music and I leave the link they sent with the worst feeling ever. Not because I know I have to tell the artist “hey, this shit sucks,” but because they came to me saying it was the mixtape of the year…AND it sucks! Nowadays, every artist drops the mixtape/song/album/video/dance of the year. But, most of them don’t even have a fanbase to support those claims. Nothing pisses off bloggers–and people in general–more than a mediocre artist flooding a timeline with tweets to check out a “classic” song that no one outside of the artist, his weed carrier (whoever thought that unknowns with weed carriers was a good idea should be shot. On sight.), and maybe his “baby mama” have heard. Reach out to your followers and fans, yes. But, sometimes, you’ve got to let them advocate for you. And, when they do, let it be on THEIR OWN ACCORD! No one enjoys being coerced into doing something.

If a blogger doesn’t get back to you with a response, or rejects the work, you’ve two options, internet rapper. Either you can:

1) Say “damn, that sucks,” but keep going and don’t stress because bloggers have many requests coming in and/or your music really wasn’t up to par with what they want to post, but make the next song in spite of that with hopes that “hey, this one is a lot better than the other shit I did.”

2) Cry about it

3) Bitch about it on Twitter, calling the blogger a “sheep” and trying to start a riot.

Look, I get it. You’re a “struggle rapper” with a “story” that spits flames. But, just because a blogger doesn’t fuck with a song doesn’t really give you the right to spaz out on them. I actually remember an artist getting pissed at me because I reviewed their song and called it subpar. The artist asked me “what do you know about music, nigga?” I told him my credentials (reviews, professionally, and musically)and some of the artists that I’ve worked with/reviewed. He promptly shut that shit up. Unless you’ve been blacklisted (and that almost never happens), a blogger usually has a legit reason for not seeing/posting “Track #10884 About The Struggle.” Either:

1) it sucks and you need to get off your high horse,

2) they’ve 50 other tracks that sound just like it today and they only want to post the best or

3) they don’t want to feature it because it clashes with their blog’s aesthetic.

A lot of artists fail to realize that big blogs often overlook a vast majority of the submissions because they receive so many. If that’s the case, submit to a blog that focuses on what you focus on. Yeah, just because it isn’t Illroots or NahRight doesn’t mean that the buzz is any worse. I hear rappers saying that all bloggers are mainstream pawns. Check this out: even if a blogger works with a bigger company, 9.5 times out of 10, their opinions are THEIR OPINIONS! If they don’t like it, they don’t like it. Don’t cry foul about it and try to sully their name. Most bloggers are also proponents of good music first, views second. I mean, of course, they’d feature new J. Cole over new Jay the Cold One the Garbage Rapper–because they feel Cole makes more music and talking about his shit will get them views.

I know this is weird. I’m a blogger/artist that is saying “hey, artists, stop being morons with your work.” But, I’m doing it because I care and I’m tired of seeing artists commit the same stupid mistakes every day.

In short, don’t hate the blogger for not posting your shit. Hate yourself for either:

1) creating a shitty product,

2) not grinding as hard as you needed to with the track,

3) not hitting the appropriate niches for your music or,

4) sicing yourself up to be the GOAT when you’re more like the NOPE.