I’m trying to turn over a new leaf in music. I want to cast aside the days of acerbic wit and stinging commentary and replace them with a kinder, gentler Speed on the Beat.
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| At least the cover art is cool, right? |
After hearing Lumidee’s newest mixtape, those kinder, gentler times will have to wait at least one more day.
The former “Never Leave You (Uh Oooh, Uh Oooh)” singer returns to a game that’s changed a lot in the decade-plus since she first dropped that infectious single. Female singers who can spit a dope bar or sixteen are damn near a dime a dozen (and vice versa), digital releases are commonplace, and New York isn’t the de facto, go-to spot for the newest hip-hop trends. So, what’s a girl to do? Well, on Lumi, released earlier this week, Lumidee:
- Gets her 2006-era YouTube mainstream remix on–complete with looped instrumentals straight out of 2003 (“Hideaway,” “3005,” and “Shake It Off” get this treatment)
- Gets her The Weeknd/Jhene Aiko on.
- Gets her Major Lazer on.
- Seems a bit confused as to whether she wants to return as a rapper who can sing, or a singer who can rap.
- Does neither of the above all that well.
- Doesn’t do too much to get the world popping off about her again.
- Gets washed by her guest stars, who range from Termonlogy to Chris Rivers.
Now, Lumidee has a top-ten hit and I’ve probably been hit ten times by a car (not all at once, though). But, this isn’t “hate.” A boring mixtape is a boring mixtape, regardless of who puts it out. If I put out something boring, I’d say “holy crap, this is boring as hell. Walk away.” But, for those waiting on Lumidee to have a U.S.-based comeback, this isn’t it. It’s not a bad mixtape per se, it’s just boring as all hell. It brings absolutely nothing that awe-inspiring to the table. Plus, the production aside from a few standouts, sounds like something I would’ve (ahem) “borrowed” from someone’s Soundclick when I still thought about sexing Ms. Pink Jacket or some foolishness.
speedonthebeat.com 