A Cathart About My Mother

As Drizzle would say, I’m going to cathart a bit about my mother and music and how they interact. This will literally be written up as I go along, with no real edits made. So, prepare for rambles.

As many of you may know, it’s been two years since Mama Young passed onto the next phase of things. Over those two years, I’ve found myself still going through “the stages.” And, as many of you know, my mom was a pretty pivotal part of me becoming the man I am today (for better and worse, at times). So, when these holidays come up where you’re expected to see your mother, things get a bit brutal for me.

But, honestly, I start to feel worse when I forget the pain. Like, is this what coping feels like? You start to forget the pain, the anguish, and sometimes even her voice and mannerisms. I wonder to myself, while writing posts on artists “I wonder if Mama Young would’ve rocked with them?” Heck, that’s part of the reason why I’ve been so adamant about opening the flood gates and posting a variety of stuff via the #SOTBMusic function of SpeedontheBeat.com; I want to expose folks to a variety of styles, just as my mother did to me.

Growing up, it wasn’t just hip-hop or oldies blaring out of my mom and dad’s speakers. No, I had a mix. For every Aaliyah song, there was a Diana Ross track and for every Diana Ross track, there was some Beach Boys mixed in there. Hell, I remember my mom, in her late 40s, listening to grunge music like her generation invented the sound. Long story short, that penchant for the eclectic has been passed down to me. So, for every boombap track I post on SpeedontheBeat.com, I may post a trap anthem. For every trap anthem, I may mess around and post some bubblegum pop. Overall, I want to keep that Mama Young Energy alive and give people eclectic tastes, so they’re not just stuck in one gear.

Anyways, if you read this ramble, thanks. Happy Mother’s Day. Tell her you love her while she’s still alive. If you have a crappy relationship? If it can be repaired, try to do so. I’d give just about anything to have my mom back turning up in her late 60s to “Mask Off.”