The first sentence I read about Taylor Kelly’s latest, “Fit In,” was that the song features the artist trying to “relieve [themselves] of…intrusive thoughts.” As my own worst enemy, I had to give this one a chance. As someone who’s bipolar, ADHD and on the spectrum, I sometimes start to spiral. There have only been a few people who’ve seen me at that “I’m spiraling and trying my damnedest to not crash out to the point that I’m still actively crashing out” stage.

That said, what Kelly describes here is something I go through and have actively been trying to confront/control better. It sucks, because if you’re like me, you start thinking the worst about yourself and start thinking that people don’t want you around because you’re too different. This takes on many forms. For me, it especially took on the form of overcompensation and burning myself out to the point of love bombing and feeling worthless. This, of course, is what I try to avoid in the first place (being “judged” for things that aren’t really that big a deal and people aren’t tripping over it at all). Suffice to say, I know where Taylor’s coming from on this one.

But it’s okay not to be okay.

I love that the instrumentation is minimalistic, but also very layered. Kelly describes it as being representative of “feeling trapped in this spiral” due to your own self-worry and self-doubt. It also, in some ways, has that anger one may feel if they’re “disappointing” someone’s views about them. Check it out below and support dope music in all its forms.