Fathers: A Speed on the Beat Rantanalysis

Alright, time to chill on the happy-go-lucky jazz for a bit.
::takes Waka Flocka off my playlist and fires up some Coltrane::

Sunday is Father’s Day. This is one of those obviously concocted holidays to push consumerism and all that other big business crap. But, it’s still one that hits close to home in several ways.

They say that any dick can be a dad, but it takes a “real man” to be a father. So, what exactly is a “real man?” Is a real man one that stays in a relationship that has grown toxic “for the sake of the children?” Is a real man someone who is best friends with the Cleavers and offers up anecdotal advice, pats his son on the head, and tells him to go out and play catch with his older brother? Or, is a real man something that is defined by the situation.

I think a real man is a man who gives everything to his children, regardless of the amicability between himself and the mother of his child(ren). A real man is someone who shows you how fucked up life is, shows you that life isn’t a movie. A real man is a man who attempts to show his offspring how to live, especially in regards to not repeating his mistakes.

Now, my father, he did all of those. Granted, he wasn’t the best father, he wasn’t around as much as I probably should have had him around, and he fathered me out of technical wedlock. But, regardless, he was the archetype of a “real man” to me. He was honest about his past, he gave me everything he could, and wasn’t just a sperm donor. These are things that I plan to be towards my son. I’m not going to lie to him and say “oh, your mother was a complete bitch and I did everything right.” Because, well, I haven’t done everything right. There were times that, since my son’s been born, that I royally fucked up. But, because of those fuck-ups, I was able to grow as a father and a man. And, when he gets older, I plan to share the true story of RAQUEL RELOADED with him.

Since RR was released, I’ve had people indicate that, because I’m not always around my son, I’m a horrible father. That is simply not the case. There are men that are around 24/7, and they’re far worse parents that I would be if I stayed around Jovanni for just five seconds a day. A father is not someone who is just “there.” If that was the case, a fucking mop could be a father. That’s the thing that infuriates me about our society: fathers are regarded as sperm donors, and yet, if we’re not hovering over our offspring, we’re Satan’s gift to parenting. That’s to say that, if I was an abusive, berating son of a bitch, it’d be better for me to show that to my son than to leave an environment and correct my own path and return with my head on straight.

Not only is that detrimental to the growth of the child, it’s also idiotic, archaic logic.

I’ll stop now before I start going off on more tangents than you can handle.

Speed on the Beat

Whatever you need to know about me, you can find out on speedonthebeat.com. Dad of two, cat dad (of two), mental health advocate, Team Support Dope Music in All Its Forms.

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