In light of the Jada Pinkett Smith/Will Smith Oscars discussion (I don’t wanna flat-out call it a “controversy”), I’ve decided to do a WIRTB Review for a movie most would say is probably Will’s worst. Yep, we’re talking After Earth. I’m Speed on the Beat and I need a new catchphrase.
If you haven’t seen After Earth, don’t waste your time. Here’re the basics you need to know about it.
- It’s an M. Night Shyamalan film
- It’s an M. Night Shyamalan film done before The Visit and after his good movies
- MNS also co-wrote the script
- Will Smith and Jaden Smith partake in this weird-ass, stereotypical African-meets-Imperial Soldier accent because SPACE FOLKS ALWAYS SOUND BRITISH AND STUFF
- There are enough plotholes in this film that you could throw a planet through them, Gurren Lagann-style.
- If you’re a conspiracy theorist, you’d probably see right through the spacey crap and see nothing but Scientology (maybe).
- Oh, and apparently, if you don’t like the movie, some will say you’re either a racist or indulging in self-hatred.
|Their appearance on film looks like Sharknado meets Full Metal Ninja.
Hell, I’d rather see a Pierre Kirby/Godfrey Ho flick.
At least their horribleness is countered by the fact I can straight up LMAO at it all…
|“If the world was real, why do birds suddenly appear?”|
|Because at least Cypher seems smart about life.|
|At least we get to see Zoe Kravitz. Yay Zoe Kravitz.|