Some Thoughts About Having Barry’s Back in November

So, once again, we’re at that time of the political cycle, where 20-something hipsters employed by Presidential candidates work with 50-something ad executives to come up with ways to make the candidates seem more “relateable to the ‘young people.'” Of course, this usually means tossing out decade-old African-American Vernacular to try to look down for the cause, G, and be ready to ride on our enemies come November, cuz.

Case in point? The “We’ve Got Your Back” campaign for President Barack Obama.

If you’ve got his back, who’s got his front?

Of course, it’s not really wrong, per se, to try to make a somewhat-out-of-touch-from-the-people-politician (Yes, Molly and Jenny, President Obama is, in fact, a politician, not some big-eared, Jay-Z-loving, Harvard-manufactured, Black Jesus sent from The Big Guy Upstairs to approve gay marriage for straight people, save blacks from themselves–and that pesky “all-fearful whitey,” and save the economy from Big Business.) more relateable to a younger, “hipper” audience. They’ve got to get the young people to “rock da vote, son!” The thing that gets me, yo, and always will about these sorts of things, is that they have to rely, as mentioned in the opener, on slang and “ebonics” to do so. Yes, the phrase “got your back” has been assimilated into everyday use. But, you have a “black” President essentially being paraded around town like a minstrel show because he’s black through the use of “black-friendly” terms. If Mitt Romney went around saying “Dawg, vote for me, so I can get that mu’fucker Barack’s ass outta office, bruh” or Ron Paul went around with hoodies that said that he’s your homeboy did something even more “cool,” people’d be ready to call it racist and stereotypical and [random buzzword here].

But, that’s not even the biggest problem. To say that you don’t have Obama’s back is, in some circles, a crime worse than shooting a (seemingly-not-a-fucking-criminal-mastermind-of-a) teenager dead while on neighborhood watch duty, out of supposed “self-defense” from the “fuckin’ coon” that was about half the weight of said neighborhood watchman and was (apparently) high out his little mind and had Skittles and a gun loaded up with Arizona tea and whatnot. (Too soon?) I don’t know what’s worse: the “racism” of the “We’ve Got Your Back” campaign or the brainwashed masses that want to slay you for speaking down about their God-King Barack. Or, you know, the whole Trayvon Martin thing that pops back into the mouths of “conscious” people whenever its convenient to them.

People these days, I swear.

But, I still got y’all back.


Speed on the Beat

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