The Road to Songs For… (#OneTilFOR): Rehabilitation

#SONGSFOR817 is tomorrow. Check it out!

If you’re reading this and I’ve been kind of quiet on the social media front, I’ve taken a step to rehabilitate myself even further. No, I didn’t finally succeed in killing myself. Wednesday, in the middle of writing about the reason I went “unhinged,” I began having panic attacks. Now, those that know me know that panic attacks are somewhat the norm for me. A scary norm, and probably an unneeded norm, but a norm nonetheless–mostly because I didn’t want to be a burden to anyone and/or have the stigma of being a “basket case” on my records (That’s probably part of that anxiety, irrational fears and shit). But, over the past month, these consecutive panic attacks were enough to make me say “fuck this” and finally start to try to get everything (back) under control. So Wednesday night, I went to the emergency room because of them. I know what you’re thinking, but panic attacks are nothing to just laugh at. You try laughing when you’re frozen up and the only two things that come to your mind are “am I dying” and “I can’t stop THINKING!”

If anything, laugh at my hairline in this picture.

In Songs For…, I speak of and speak on the “evolution of the modern male.” Part of that evolution is, as mentioned, “owning up.” In owning up, though, it’s not just saying “holy shit, I’m wrong for XYZ.” It also includes “hey I’ve got problems and I can’t solve them all by myself.” Like I said in part three, ending it all, no matter how appealing it looks, is never the solution. So, that’s what I’m doing. I’m educating the world through my music, in a few ways. Kind of like Macklemore, but blacker (mostly) and less cornier (mostly).

I just hope that everyone that’s rode with me through the storm will be there when the sun comes as well–instead of just walking away for something a bit more “desirable.” So, to hear part of the evolution of the modern male, check out Songs For…. For the conclusion of the story, stay tuned.

Speed on the Beat

Whatever you need to know about me, you can find out on

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