RAW Review 7/21/14

Oh my word, that was horrible. So horrible that I had to take about thirteen hours to process the sheer putrid nature of last night’s RAW. Don’t get me wrong, though. There were decent spots. For instance, Paige’s Turn, Dolph Ziggler got a win, Ambrose and Cesaro faced off–and (technically) in the main event, too–and Dr. X(avier Woods) rebooting the Stamford, CT chapter of the Nation of Domination. Oh, and this guy returned.

But, as you probably know by now, it’s more fun to rag on the bad than harp on the good. So, let’s just get on with…the rest of the crap.

Rusev Crush!

For those that thought that WWE would pull the plug on the Rusev angle after the backlash about referencing “the current events,” don’t you know wrestling by now? Vince McMahon will do anything for a pop. This includes “killing” himself (but reappearing and nixing that angle after Benoit), having his daughter (almost) sacrificed, have his daughter ridiculed, and having his son take bumps like a bawse (thank you Jay Hunter).

So, when Rusev came out last night, and had Lana run down the USofA, no one should have been surprised. While it was a distasteful promo (the “current events” one)–especially because of the ramifications of the real event–but we moved past the promo (partly due to WWE not harping on it too much, and mostly because Rusev and Lana are being “buried” for the promo/put on the backburner because of it, per WINC and F4W). Now, controversy or not, I think Rusev is one of the most boring talents in WWE today–even with that nasty Superkick. So, what d’ya think you’ll get when you put Rusev and The Greatest Wrestler Ever, Dead or Alive Khali together in a match?

You get Botchamania, Foreign Edition.
It’s insane how the WWE still hypes beating Khali up as an accomplishment, even if it is to pander to the international market. For Pete’s Sake, there’s gotta be a more mobile Indian wrestler WWE can shill, right?

…oh, yeah. #RIP3MB

Bitch, Please?

The Disgruntled Employee versus The Authority Figure storyline is almost always gold. From CM Punk That Guy Who Came Out To “Cult of Personality” versus Triple H to Stone Cold versus Mr. McMahon, this storyline has brought us some of the greatest moments in wrestling history, in my opinion. But, this extended segment was just cringeworthy. Brie Bella constantly shrieking the word “bitch” and Stephanie getting “arrested,” I guess were supposed to be “edgy” moments, but it was just frustrating how starved we’ve become for ballsy authority figures that Stephanie McMahon getting (ahem) bitchslapped by Brie constitutes as “oooooh wow!”-caliber entertainment.
Now, I love Stephanie McMahon, but she needs a partner that can go in a bit more with what she’s given. That’s why, love her or hate her, Vickie Guerrero was a perfect foil for Mrs. McMahon. Brie still doesn’t have that range to give a convincing enough performance for me, personally, to give two craps about this storyline’s conclusion. As long as Daniel Bryan comes back, I’m good.
The Florida Flo Rider Flo Rida Performance

Zack Rida Ryder vs. Fandango

Remember when both of these men were over? At least Mr. WWWYKI got a win, and some “action.”

Maybe I’m being cynical, but last night’s RAW was just…no. Also, don’t expect these reviews weekly. I don’t have the patience to sit through three hours of wrestling debacles. 

Speed on the Beat

Whatever you need to know about me, you can find out on speedonthebeat.com

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