Today is the one-year anniversary of my last album. Apologies for the rants in advance.

I often get asked if I regret leaving music behind as an artist following The Sorest Loser. The cries aren’t as strong as they were; I guess folks have resigned to take my “retirement” as fact. However, they still exist. To them, I have to say this: “if you were looking for a follow-up, I’m sorry. However, I felt that, with The Sorest Loser, it was time to bid the recording world adieu.”

I’ve talked about it before. During TSL‘s prep, I became a bit disenchanted with the music process and I started seeing that, because I was so focused on music, I neglected a plethora of my other obligations. I gave my all on the album, literally recording an album that spanned from the days of “J dot Speed” and Ms. Pink Jacket bars to losing my mother and everything that entailed. However, as you may tell with certain tracks devolving into me just fading into oblivion and letting the beat ride, I wasn’t 100% into things, ironically enough. My mind already started looking elsewhere to see what I could repair if I left music behind. I’d poured my life into music in 2015 because that’s pretty much all I had to keep me from losing it. In 2016, I had grown up again and was focusing on more things outside of music and–again–started saying “I need more outside of bars.”

Plus, you know, the whole recalibration of my bipolar thing.

That also came up in my bars for 2016’s Team DAR album, Leviticus. 

The team thought I threw shots. But, as explained in “Vouch For That,” I had way too much shit on my plate and my mind was thinking outside of music (mentally and otherwise). Additionally, because I had a lot more going on outside of just being able to record, my verses were literally phoned in over a crappy system I’d set up in my apartment to record. It was the best of lo-fi times, it was the worst of lo-fi times. I got it better recording-wise for TSL, but that’s besides the point.

On top of that? I feel that I don’t have anything left to give. Now, do I still write lyrics every now and then? Yes. I have about an album’s worth of stuff written. Just because I’m retired doesn’t mean I don’t get the urge to write every now and then. I mean, I’m still an artist. 

But, I’ve taken that energy of recording and all that and transplanted it into SpeedontheBeat.com and have grown this site to one that’s on the cusp of one million views. I’ve taken the energy I put into music and have used it to become an even better father, lover, and provider. I used the energy to make more episodes of The Speed Report, a podcast that, before 2016, was long dead. The energy still exists, but it’s being put into things that are more evolved and beyond simply recording bars.

Will there ever be a SOTB return to the mic? Meh. I still try to take things one day at a time. However, I’m pretty confident that TSL was the last SOTB album.