This one hits me close to home on quite a few levels. First, as the biological son of an alcoholic and abusive ass, I try to not do what he did. Sometimes it works. For example, I do drink. However, I don’t get blackout drunk or volatile around my children because of it. However, sometimes it doesn’t work out as planned. This is especially true when my temper flares up and I curse someone out without thinking. That said, my father’s influence colors my perception of men, fathers and so on, both positively and negatively. I want to not repeat his mistakes, but know some things in my make up as a human come from him. In other words, trauma runs deep.
L.O Heemz’ latest track, “Father’s Curse,” finds the rapper speaking on his own father and his relationship. Said father was an alcoholic and absent father because of substance abuse. He points out that, while his mother never “threw dirt on [his father’s] name,” Heemz’ father’s actions are what caused the rift between him and his family. This one hit me square in the chest. My mom never spoke ill of my father, even while he was abusive and neglectful. Hell, he did enough to foster ill will on his own. But, I still thank him for doing what he did. Otherwise, I don’t think I would’ve found myself being an amazing father and looking to my stepfather as a guiding light during my adolescence and beyond. His screwups helped make me a better person, in all honesty.
If you want some thought-provoking hip-hop about parental guidance (or lack thereof), check this beautifully-done track out below and support dope music in all its forms.